Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
