Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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