Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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