I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
