So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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