Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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