btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
