literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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