Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
