dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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