yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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