I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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