I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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