Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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