woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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