i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
