i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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