So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
