How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
