eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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