this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize