No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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