I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
