It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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