Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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