wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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