1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
