Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
