But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You made out with two different species that night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
