There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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