He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
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Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
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I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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