i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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