I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
