did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
