9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
