It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
