she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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