just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
