his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She bit a glass in half.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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