If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think we might need a safe word for this...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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