your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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