Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize