you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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