I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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