yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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