you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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