best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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