she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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