What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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