He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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