That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We are all done wearing pants today
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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