office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
