I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
