So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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