she woke up with a sticky ear
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize