I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
