i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
