Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
