to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
time to smoke my breakfast
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize