Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
