does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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