32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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