Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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