the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You took a bar mat shot.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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