brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
